What should you do if you use the wrong pronoun or misgender someone?

Short and sweet and excellent advice from Alex.

1) Remain calm – We all know how awkward it can be, but just stay calm. If you get upset or react in a certain way then the other person may also get upset by this.

2) Apologise and correct yourself – Make sure you keep it short and sweet. It’s good manners and it highlights that you have made a mistaken and that you are truly sorry.

3)  Move on – Being misgendered is very uncomfortable but it always happens, it can happen to anybody. Make sure you avoid making it into a big deal, Just apologise and carry on the conversation like nothing happened.

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Stonewall Controversy?

As many following Social Media and the Pink Press will know, the trailer for the forthcoming film Stonewall has been accused of eradicating trans and queer people of colour’s history.  This is perhaps a little harsh since no one has seen the movie yet, but debate is healthy, if it is informed.

The movie also isn’t a historical documentary, but a fictionalised account drawing attention to LGBT Homelessness according to this blog.

But one of the most interesting perspectives was put forward by our colleague Joseph De Lappe back in March 2015 and I really encourage you to read it.

The ABC of Queer: Q for Queerwashing

Reparative therapy in Rutter’s Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

The new (6th) edition of Rutter’s Child and Adolescent Psychiatry features a chapter on a gender nonconforming young people for the first time, entitled “Gender dysphoria and paraphilic sexual disorders”. This chapter draws upon flawed and outdated research to effectively promote ‘reparative’ therapy, with the intention of changing children’s gender identities. It can be read here.

Authors Kenneth Zucker and Michael Seto suggest that therapists work with parents to “set limits with regard to cross-gender behaviour, and encourage same-sex peer relations and gender-typical activities”. In doing so, they promote the idea that issues faced by gender nonconforming children are due to an innate problem with the child, rather than with the child’s relation to normative societal gender roles.

Reparative therapy for gender identity issues can harm children by leading them to internalise the idea that nonconforming gendered expression is shameful or wrong (Ansara & Hegarty, 2012). It runs counter to explicit guidance on the treatment of children and young people from the World Professional Association for Transgender Health Standards of Care (WPATH, 2012). In contrast, approaches that enable and support children in exploring gender identity and expression have been shown to have beneficial outcomes (De Vries et al, 2013; Ehrensaft, 2012).

The chapter also exhibits poor scholarship. The first author prominently cites his own work no less than 17 times. Strong inferences are drawn from statistically insignificant quantitative findings. Blanchard’s (2010) deeply reductive typology of male-to-female transsexualism is reported on prominently, but the controversy of this theory (Serano, 2010) is not acknowledged.

Zucker’s own Gender Identity Service at the Toronto-based Centre for Addiction and Mental Health was recently recently suspended pending investigation following complaints from a number of parents. It is unclear whether or not the service will re-open, particularly as Zucker’s approach to therapy is now arguable illegal in the state of Ontario following a recent change in the law. Zucker has also been criticised for building his academic profile through an ‘invisible college’ of mutual citation and peer review (Ansara & Hegarty, 2012).

In light of these issues, it is deeply concerning that Zucker was invited to co-author this chapter.

For these reasons it might be best if the 6th edition of Rutter’s Child and Adolescent Psychiatry is not bought for libraries or used within training.

Guest Contributor:
Ruth Pearce
August 2015

Works referenced

Ansara, G and Hegarty, P (2012) Cisgenderism in psychology: pathologising and misgendering children from 1999 to 2008. Psychology & Sexuality 3:2, 137- 160

Blanchard, R (2010) The DSM diagnostic criteria for transvestic fetishism. Archives of Sexual Behavior 39, 363–372

Ehrensaft, D (2012) Gender Born, Gender Made: Raising Healthy Gender-Nonconforming Children. The Experiment Publishing: New York

Serano, J (2010) The Case Against Autogynephilia. International Journal of Transgenderism 12:3, 176-87

De Vries et al (2013) Young Adult Psychological Outcome After Puberty Suppression and Gender Reassignment. Pediatrics: 2013-2958

WPATH (2012) Standards of care for the health of transsexual, transgender, and gender non-conforming people. WPATH http://www.wpath.org/uploaded_files/140/files/Standards%20of%20Care,%20V7%20Full%20Book.pdf


9 things Transgender student’s experience..

A great insight into one young mans experience of being Trans at school.

1) Public bathrooms are a massive pain whilst in school..

Using the bathrooms in school are so awkward, simply because 99% of students in the school know that you’re transgender. The students only know that you’re transgender because in high school rumors fly around like wildfire! If you use the female toilets everybody looks at you and shouts for you to get out…But if you use the male toilets they all stare at you…All i want to do is go to the toilet and leave, that shouldn’t be hard should it?

2) When your friends stick up for you when being misgendered or bullied..

Having someone be there for you when someone is being very nasty is the best, simply because you know who to trust!

3) When people say ‘Why do you feel like a boy’….

That’s like me asking a non transgender person “why do you feel like…

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Mr Jones and his mother question and answer session!

It’s always wonderful to find a mother whose love for her child is unconditional and who allows their child to grow into their own person. This is a sweet and moving account.

I spoke to my mum a couple of days ago about her answering some questions for my blog and she simply replied “why?” and my only reason for this is so that other transgender kids parents can read it and relate to where my mum is coming from! As a main person in my transition i knew it was essential that i asked her these questions!

1) 5 Years ago did you understand what it meant to me transgender? if so what did you think it meant?

“No, I didn’t know what it meant”

2) Growing up what type of child was I? Was i more like a boy or a girl?

“Hyper-active! Only way to describe you was the Taz Mania devil!”

3) As a child did you think i was transgender?

“You would always dress as a boy and i could only buy you boys toys, anything girly…

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11 Self harm Myths…

A highly sensitive subject and one which frequently distresses everyone involved. Alex’s take on this is very helpful.

As a young teenager, at the age of 13 i started to harm myself because of everything i went through. Thankfully i have been in recovery for 2 years now but i know there are still myths surrounding the issue! I just want to highlight the top 11 issues and the truth surrounding self harm.

1) Self harm is attention seeking..

Most people who self harm are doing it because they are blaming themselves for what has happened, or it may be because they feel like they deserve it, or simply they may struggle with mental health issues or addictions other than self harm. Why would someone injure themselves to seek attention?

2) People who self harm are suicidal…

People who self harm may be suicidal, but sometimes they aren’t. Harming yourself doesn’t mean you want to kill yourself.

3) The only form of self harm is cutting yourself..


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The innocent little girl turned into a handsome young man…

Are you following Alex as he share his transition blog?

I thought i’d document my transition timeline from my first day home from hospital until now. I think its good that people can see how far i have developed and truly happy and comfortable i look now. Any way enjoy looking at these images!



This was the first time my older sister held me. I don’t have any other images of me being a newborn!

1 Years old:


This was when i was 1 years old. As you can see i look like a typical child. I actually remember getting that bike as a present and i was so happy with it! I had it for years and i used to carry my books around in the back of it!.

2 Years old:


These images where when i was 2 years old. As you can see i look like a typical little girl. At this age i gained the…

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